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Jetspectacular, The.

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AX accounting [Jul. 3rd, 2007|02:20 pm]
Jetspectacular, The.
potentially the worst AX i've had, but I shall remember it as the bestCollapse )
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(no subject) [Apr. 11th, 2007|01:48 am]
Jetspectacular, The.
The things that I want may have finally eclipsed the things that I need.
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The assasination of Indira Gandhi [from Vengence//Pranay Gupte] [Mar. 4th, 2007|06:21 pm]
Jetspectacular, The.
Was she herself seized by some premonition about her death?

Dhawan glanced quickly at the handwritten note. This is what Mrs. Gandhi had written:

I have never felt less like dying and that calm and peace of mind is what prompts me to write what is in the nature of a will. If I die a violent death as some fear and few are plotting, I know the violence will be in the thought and action of the assasin, not in my dying- for no hate is dark enough to overshadow the extent of my love for my people and my country; no force is strong enough to divert me from my purpose and my endeavor to take this country forward.

A poet has written of his 'love' -- ' how can I feel humble with the wealth of you beside me?' I can say the same of India. I cannot understand how anyone can be an Indian and not be proud-- the richness and infinate variety of our composite heritage, the magnificence of the people's spirit, equal to an disaster or burden, firm in their faith, gay spontaniety even in poverty and hardship.



[...]

At 9:15 Mrs. Ghandi stepped out of her home, with Narain Singh, a New Dehlhi policeman, holding an umbrella over her head to shield her from the sun. Dhawan was behind them. And behind him were Rameshwar Dayal, a local police sub-inspector, and Nathuram, Mrs. Gandhi's valet. She walked briskly, as was her custom, toward the Akbar Road office. As she neared a hedge, she spotted Beant Singh, a Sikh policeman who had been part of her security guard for six years. She smiled at the twenty-eight-year-old Beant. The tall bearded Sikh was still attatched to her personal sexurity force because the prime minister herself had resisted pleas from aides to have him transferred in the wake of the assault on the Golden Temple. "I have nothing to fear from the Sikhs," Mrs. Gandhi told them.

Beant moved up to Mrs. Gandhi, whipped out a pistol, pointed it at her, and fired three shots into her abdomen. Without a word, Mrs. Gandhi started to fall to the ground. But before her body slumped, another Sikh guard, Satwant Singh, twenty-one years old, emerged from the hedge and opened up with a Thompson automatic carbine. Mrs. Gandhi's body was nearly lifted from the fround by these powerful bullets; she spun around, then crashed to the ground. In the space of twenty secnods, thirty-two bullets had been pumped into her small, frail body. It was now 9:17am.

The body lay on the ground for nearly a minute before anyone took action. Her bodyguards had dived for cover. Rameshwar Dayal had been shot in the thigh from the round fired by Satwant Singh. When Dhawan and the others rose, they saw Beant and Satwant standing with their hands raised; they had dropped their weapons.

"We have done what we set out to do," Beant Singh said, in Hindi. "now you can do whatever you want to do."
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(no subject) [Feb. 23rd, 2007|09:04 am]
Jetspectacular, The.
It feels like the decisions I make within the hour will define me for the next five years.

passion vs reason and all thatCollapse )
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two weeks till i resume life [Feb. 15th, 2007|06:59 pm]
Jetspectacular, The.
I had a dream. I would call it a nightmare, but it was too realistic and no one died. I would call it prophetic, but it was too forboding and I dont want to imply to myself that it meant anything significant.

I dreamt I recieved an even lower score on the ASTB than the first time I took it. Which would mean I failed it horribly.

It didn't really shock me, but the pain of that kind of failure hit me a few minutes ago while I was walking home from the market. It reminded me of my father. I cried about 3 tears, then went on to purchase pasta for today and tomorrow's dinner.

If I failed a second time, would that validate everything I doubt about myself? Would that give me reason to stop aspiring for that upper-class division my brother Chris has? Would that motivate me closer to armed service or civil service? Would that make my father be even more disappointed in me?

I dont know how he felt at my brother's commissioning ceremony.. or watching my brother Chris leave for Virginia. I don't know if he was proud, nervous, worried, relieved or even still yet disappointed.

I dont know how he felt because I didn't ask him and I never will. But I remember one time saying to him.. "No matter what you felt saying goodbye to Chris, I swear one day you'll feel the same way toward me."

I can't stop chasing my brother's shadow. I can't stop wanting to go higher and further. I can't give up on the possiblity that one day I will be loved equally.
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countdown [Jan. 4th, 2007|04:35 pm]
Jetspectacular, The.
I can't stop my hands from shaking, but at least my feet are moving forward.

Today is one of those days.

I'm off to prove myself.
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motivational statement. [Dec. 24th, 2006|03:14 am]
Jetspectacular, The.
I'll level with you since I can tell you're an honest kid already. You have slim chances because you have nothing on record about your skills. What skills? You are very rarely able to finish what you started, you are hesitant about contacts, you have a troublesome and deep-seated complex about authority and quite frankly you have very little prospect following through with merely stated goals...

You may work like a dog. You may talk like you know what you're talking about. You may be creative and facilitating and appeasing but you are no leader.

No, not yet.

At least, not anymore. You were once a driven and hardworking (calculating) young girl, with a blind passion, an image in your head that you would use to keep yourself in check at every decision. When you realized how blind you were, you dropped all that ambition and floated. Floated. Maybe it was because of the fatigue, or perhaps the new mentality to finally listen to the world, observe it and absorb it instead of judge and analyze it.. maybe it was because of the new sense of "student" identity that you became so weakwilled and content with the background position, wish as little responsibility as possible. Now look where it has gotten you. You've kept so many doors halfway open no one will be there to stand by you as you enter any of them.

No, not yet.

Don't be disheartened. Really. You have a good head on your shoulders, a sense of society and how things ought to be. You just need confidence. Real Arrogance -not this "oh, i'll make it somehow" bullshit you've leaned back on and failed on time and time again. Real confidence and real arrogance should come from skills. Where are they? Where can you create them? Who has seen them and who will vouche for them? Who will back you up?

Start with yourself. Since you're an honest kid, I know that will be hard. Since you are an idealistic kid, I know it will be especially hard. But you will do it, because you still have that image there.. hovering like the sword of damocles, you still have that sense and ability and now the passion isn't so blind. You have your beliefs and you still return to that once-strayed from path. You can recover your steps. But you have to take the steps first.

Unafraid. Undeterred. Yes, now is the time for that step. Now. Tonight, tomorrow, this week until the 3rd.

This is not pressure, this is fact. You will do what you will do, score what you will score, get approval where you can get approval and throw your fate back to the federal government. You will do finish what you failed to finish in highschool. Fail or not, you will at least finish this.

The gains are everything you could hope for, even if you feel you don't deserve them now. You do. Because you will work for them. That much is for certain, so take comfort in that certainty.
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so am i more of a child now? [Dec. 11th, 2006|01:54 am]
Jetspectacular, The.
[feelin' kinda |pretty chill]

From googlemaps the distance looked short, like an easy two or three blocks. Besides, since the bus doesn't go directly to the area of the base I needed to be at- I had no other choice. I even sketched a map on the back of my itinerary.

When I got off at the closest crossstreet I saw a large, parking structure-esque building in the distance with nothing but construction and smaller grey brick buildings around it. I thought to myself:

Well, I can make it in 30min if I run. Starting Now.Collapse )
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always amazed. [Nov. 7th, 2006|08:38 pm]
Jetspectacular, The.
Wow. And I thought I knew the Cold War...

The more I stare at it, the less simple Foreign Policy is..
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shaking in my chair [Nov. 7th, 2006|12:38 pm]
Jetspectacular, The.
woah. The ball's rolling alright...Collapse )
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